Always There!

I am pretty sure I have never been this busy in my life! Three kids in school, the usual house work, errand running, hair clients, a million and one house projects, a puppy, the addition of two more kids, and oh yeah Christmas is coming up to I believe!  The last few weeks have been quite the trial for my family. More bills we're pilling in then what we we're making, my hair clients we're at an all time low, and our next option was going to be donating plasma which I HATE doing. And donating plasma was just to pay bills it couldn't even go to getting presents for our kids. And I hate to say it at this time I gave up hope, and well faith. It's such an easy thing to have when bills are getting paid and your getting along with your spouse and your kids are well behaved. But at the same time during those times I believe it's easy to forget who you owe all that too.  This is so not even close to the first time we had been in this position and I guess this time I just got angry. Angry with God! I felt like I don't understand we had done what society tells you to do.  My husband went to college and graduated a year after our third child was born. I went to cosmetology school and graduated before we we're even married.  But yet we have always been insanely tight on money. There's was one time for about 2 months after Jeremy had gotten a nice raise that we we're able to see a little bit passed each pay check. But shortly after that I was laid off from both of my baby sitting jobs and fired by my insanely awesome boss, so we we're back to not knowing how things were going to get paid.  I guess like I always tell Jeremy, I don't need to be rich it would just be nice to see some rewards from all of the hard work we have done. Instead of our school loans helping us they have put us about 70,000 dollars in the hole and destroyed our credit. Because of this I have a hard time telling my kids, yes you should go to college! Why when everyone else without a degree is making more then my husband???? Sorry that one does effect me a bit as you can plainly see.  Back to the topic at hand: God and I we're not seeing eye to eye!  I had filled out a million applications but felt sick every time I did. My goal for quite a few years now was to just be a Mommy, quit the hair stuff and just focus on my babies. And here I was looking again to work outside of the home yet again. Then the day came when I was talking to Jeremy about my job search, and my little Joshua piped up and said, "But I don't want a new Mommy!"  I think he was thinking that he would have a baby sitter which would feel like having a new Mommy. This was not ok with me at all. So crazy that that same afternoon doing child care popped into my head. For anyone that knows me this would normally be the farthest thing in my mind. But I really started to warm up to the idea. I had one interview within a couple of days, and felt iffy about it immediately. Again I got angry , I really needed a job  or we were in huge trouble soon. With having a few shut off notices I was starting to get very scared! Then I got another call from another mom looking for care for not one but two kids. My first thought was this is crazy but man do we need the money. Then after I talked to her for a bit my thought went to this is crazy, to this could be one of the best things that has happened to our family. Not even financially but because the kids we're the same age as my younger two, she was a teacher so I would always have breaks off, and after I told her how much my rates were she gave a me a $10 raise per hour immediately!  I'm on day two of the job and although I'm exhausted I'm incredibly happy. I realize because of me doing this I will see less of my friends, and will probably go crazy more often.  But my heart is happier then it's been in a long time. I spent a lot of time crying this last month, today I cried from laughing to hard! It felt amazing!  So with that said I always want to try to have a point to my blogs. Through all of these tough times , and me being angry at God I failed to see he was still providing everything we needed, nothing got shut off , and I got a pretty nice check right before Christmas!  My point.... God loves us always! When we are sad, when we've given up hope, when everything is going great and we've forgotten about him, when we don't feel that we're worth it, and also when we're angry! I know I will be angry again, I just pray I won't forget he was there when I was angry and when I asked for forgiveness!

Input please!

Oh the questions and ideas that have been running through my mind lately. So I thought it would be best to put it all out there and get other's input! So if you've got a minute I would love to hear your inner most thoughts! LOL just kidding these are fairly easy questions! LOL
1. What time do you wake up in the morning? Before or after your kids? And are you ready for your day before you they wake up or before they go to school, or you never know when you get ready you just go with the flow of the day?

2. I feel like my kids eat the same thing for breakfast everyday: cereal! I want to change it up a bit and would love some quick/cheap breakfast ideas that I can make either the night before or it bakes while I'm in the shower. Or it could even be yogurt and a granola bar, just something different.

3.How do you do cleaning in your house? Do you feel like your always trying to play catch up? Or do you have a schedule? Do your kids have chores, and how do they stick to them. My kids honestly struggle with having time for chores on the weekdays it's all about homework...blah! When do you set aside time to get big jobs done?

4. You all know my love /obsession with coupons, it's no secret I think there amazing little pieces of paper! LOL ! I was thinking of starting a couponing group. We meet at each others houses for maybe two hours. Clip, exchange, organize, make shopping lists, and share secrets! All while getting to chat with our friends and maybe share a little snack! I just what to get a feel of who would be up to it first and how often you would want to meet.

5. As money gets tighter and tighter in our house I am trying to come up with extra ways to make money without getting a job outside of the house, or working myself to the bone in the house. When money is tight what do you do to make up for the difference. Our ultimate goal is for me to quit doing hair all together , but I just get so nervous because I know we need the money. But this month I only have one client and that is very scary as well. I'm very much at a crossroads right now. If you stay home how did you decide that it would all work out. What did you get rid of or cut back on so that you could?

Alright I know there's a million more but I think that's it for now! Thanks for any input you may have! I love to hear other women's ideas/opinions!

Doing Nothing is Not an Option!

I think that I have written and said a thousand times in the last few months that changes are coming our way. My first thought was something big such as a raise, a new baby, or a big move. In some crazy ways God has shown me these are not the changes to expect. We no longer get child support which means we've taken quite a pay cut, we had a baby scare last month that turned out to be just that, a scare! And I am feeling more at home everyday feeling like this house is one that will teach to be more thankful for what I have everyday!
But as many of us know if we shut up and listen God will tell us exactly what we need to know and just that! I kept trying to make our own plan. You know like, I feel like God is telling us a change is coming maybe we should have another baby, maybe that's what it is. Or maybe I should get a job to take care of the money we're no longer getting. I'm sure I came up with about twenty other things I could do make some major changes so that I could feel like I had really heard from God and that was what he had told me to do!
But last Thursday night there was no mistaking it, I felt God through every being in my body! I had chills up my spine, and felt as giddy as a school girl! God had answered a prayer that I had been asking for awhile, what are these changes you have for us? His response: The change is YOU!  I am making you brand new through me, you will no longer try to make your own plan, instead you will begin to listen to mine!
The honest truth, I have been a fan of God for quite sometime now! If I put on a good show I will surely pass as a good Christian, if I read the Bible to my kids every now and again God will see I'm trying, and my favorite one, we go to church every Sunday therefor I have met all of my Christian like duties and I am good to go! After watching a wonderful series through our church called not a fan I realized that was exactly what I had become! But lately I decided to listen more and boy am I glad I did! The last few weeks have been a bit convicting , but also incredibly life changing! After watching a series where a man had a heartatache was given a second chance at life he chose to be a follower of Christ! Choosing to listen to God even when his family thought he was crazy. In one of the situations he was trying to help a homeless child. his wife asked him why, his response, "Doing nothing is just not an option!"  Right as he said it I felt like I had been punched in the stomach! I had been doing nothing for quite a few years now and felt just fine until that moment! This thought rang through my ears for days to come! " DOING NOTHING IS NOT AN OPTION!" " DOING NOTHING IS NOT AN OPTION!" " DOING NOTHING IS NOT AN OPTION!"  My husband of course had backed me up 100% with this , and changes are going to be happening! We are not a wealthy family but God has already pointed me in so many directions as to what I can do to help others!  I feel so beyond blessed for this feeling of change! Thank you God for your mercies! Thank you for this change! I pray that this blog inspires you to listen to God, talk to him more, you never know what you may be missing by thinking you are in  control! Live for today, because there may not be a tomorrow!

Double the Fun!

I tend to write my blogs in two's just because I tend to write only when I have a lot on my mind and it always seems to be a lot of different topics that wouldn't make sense in one blog! As I mentioned earlier Taylor was just adopted last week. One of the reasons (or really I think the entire reason) the papers we're signed was because we forgave him of over 26,000 dollars in back child support! Although this angered me since I know I will never be forgiven of any debt simply for the reason that I'm irresponsible , or that I changed my mind and decided I didn't want to what was expected of me! I felt this money was owed to me! But at the same time I knew there was no other way. If we did not go through with this chances we're that he would not sign the papers, we would go through a trial and face the chances that Tony could win some visitations! This was not a risk we we're willing to take. So therefore a lot will change in our house financially. Although we had gone through some dry spells with not getting any child support we had also gotten it a lot of times, sometimes adding up to $500 dollars a month. At times we depended on this money to survive. It wasn't smart but it's what we had to do sometimes. It was always a nice thing to open my checking account and see a couple extra $100 dollars I hadn't expected. Looking back I wish we would have been smart and put it into a savings account so that when a situation  like this happened we would never really know what it was like to have it in the 1st place!
Now for the weird flip side that hit me today! What a BLESSING this is! Yes of course getting the adoption done was a blessing, there is no question there! But out of nowhere I felt that no longer getting this money is the best thing for us! In church we've been hearing about so many families that live off of far less then what we do! I feel like this will help us to see what things we REALLY NEED to live off of! Like I mean NEED! I like to think that I am a thrifty shopper, but indeed I am a shopper. So it doesn't matter how thrifty you are if you do it often you can find yourself in trouble! This can be the same case with eating out, entertainment, and heck even grocery shopping! With only one very little credit card, and a teeny tiny savings we have nothing to fall back on! I use to think heck I'm sure I'll get child support so we can go out to eat or what not!
With the holidays quickly approaching money can be the first thing to come into our minds. Because indeed you do need money to buy gifts!  And indeed that is what we sadly tend to focus on during the holidays. There has to be a way to still have a rockin' Christmas without all the worry of presents and money! So this year I am trying to be as creative as possible with ways we can give back to those less fortunate! I want to show my kids just how important it is to think of others and focus less with what cool presents are under the tree!
With that being said I also plan to try to stick to as many homemade gifts as possible, that can go with things my kids already own. Through the years I have very much learned that just because I think it's super crazy cool, my kids will probably lose interest very quickly and it will get ruined or lost! So here is to a new mindset! I think this just may be our best Christmas yet! May yours be great as well!

Finally back to normal!

As many of you know Taylor's adoption finally happened last Wed! It was a great day filled with lots of smiles, tears, and thankfully family! I can just see such a huge weight has been lifted from my husbands shoulders! As for me I'm just so glad our family can go back to exactly what is was before lawyers and court rooms came into the picture. I just wanted to share some pictures from that day, as well as thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers! Although Taylor has always been called Taylor Stark I feel something tingle inside that makes me almost cry when I say it now. I'm just so glad nothing will ever come between her and her Daddy again!

My own personal comedians!

It is oh so very true that kids can say some pretty hilarious things. Since they are incredibly honest it can make for some pretty interesting and exciting conversations.  We enjoy asking our kids questions about life when they get older and seeing what their responses are. I try to write down as many of them as possible so that they can hear how they made me laugh on an everyday basis.  Lately Joshua has been cracking me up the most! His growing little mind sure has a TON of funny thoughts! So I thought I should give everyone a good laugh and share some of them!

*The other day as we're driving to school Isaiah shares with me that Joshua does not want to get married! Being the ladies man that he is I thought hmmmm, something can't be right about that statement. So I ask him "Joshua do you really not want to get married?", he says "I can't get married Momma", "Why not?" " Because if I get married I will have to drive my wife around in her car and I don't know how to drive!" After a good laugh and an explanation that before he gets married he will indeed know how to drive before he has to drive his lady around all has been solved and Joshua is very ready to get married! LOL

*You will see that Joshua talks a lot about getting married. This next statement about made me pee my pants. I have no clue how he could have even thought of it. Jeremy has a BB gun that he keeps under the bed to use to scare of intruders. There is nothing at all in it so not like it will do anything but hopefully he shadow will scare away intruders. Anywho, as I'm getting ready Joshua brings it into the bathroom and says ,"here ya go Momma, Daddy got this when you fell in love and got married!" LOL, LOL, LOL!  Way to go honey, he already knows what to be prepared for !

*The last one was today after church when he announced that he was marrying a princess! He would make her feel special by buying her jewelry, make up and a tiara! He would also tell her he loves her and kiss her a lot! I about cried! But the best part came when we went back to the car discussion and how he was going to have money to provide a car for his princess bride. He says, "oh yeah I need money." "How do you get money?"  "I'm gonna get $1,000 dollars, I'm gonna find it on the floor!" LOL Tomorrow I plan to search the entire house to find the $1,000 before he does! LOL

I hope you all had a good laugh! I love how kids just speak what's on their mind! After all they are my kids, what else would you expect! LOL

My crafty Side!

I love anything that involves me getting creative! Thanks to Pinterest I have found so many things that I want to do! I plan to check at least 4 off of my to do list every month! Tay's birthday makes one, and this next project makes #2.  To start with I'm trying to give my living room a vintage feel. This is hard since my couch and lamps are very modern but what can ya do! LOL This was one of the most creative and fun projects I have ever worked on so I was super stoked! Even better I made it for around $5 , so I got a beautiful piece of art work with out breaking the bank! First I will start with a picture of what I made and then walk you through the process.

First I started at the Habitat For Humanity where I found the window already painted a perfect shade of red (that was $2) I then found some vintage picture frames (.25/each) and 4 vases (also .25/each)

Next I took some plastic chicken wire type stuff, we already had this from a different house project so thankfully I didn't have to buy that. I measured it out and used a staple gun to secure it, and used a glue gun to make sure it was good to go!

The next step was to take my frames and lay them out where I thought they should go. I then secured them with picture wire, and some more super glue ( I LOVE super glue , lol) I did the same with the vases. But I also wrapped some black ribbon around the vases.
Lastly I took some flowers that I already had that really matched the room and I arranged them into the vases.

So the entire project took me less then an hour, cost less then a poster, and fits wonderfully in the room! I'm going with a A+ for this project!
Here is the finished piece up on the wall. I couldn't be happier!

What's new I'm behind again! LOL

So I dropped Facebook and I'm still behind with everything! But we've had a few busy weeks as well that have helped me get behind with everything! So here's to catching up and letting everyone (my whole 5 followers! LOL) know what we Starks have been up to!

So first off my first born and only daughter turned 10 on October 2nd! Yep you heard correctly we have double digits in this house now! And Momma did bawl her eyes out! When they tell you it goes fast no one is kidding! I look back and it's hard to even believe that she was once a chunky little baby! But oh my she is so fun now! I have a shopping partner (the best part is that she loves to go thrift shopping and coupon shopping with me)! She literally told me she had so much fun at Safeway today <------weird! LOL. She is not totally a girly girl, which works in this house totally. But she loves to get dressed up when necessary. You will most likely find her working on a new invention/craft, climbing a tree, or riding her bike! She is very laid back, but yet OH SO DRAMATIC!  I see her becoming something where she has to talk to a lot of people, as she is the most social being I know!

As many of you know we are going through some tough times with our daughter! Her sperm donor wants to step in after a decade of being a dead beat, and think he can have visitations and write letters and call her like their best buds! Two court trials later and we still haven't come to a conclusion! Hopefully within the next few weeks he will come to his senses and sign the papers so that the man who has ALWAYS been her Daddy can continue doing what he's always done, and we can go back to life as normal! 

I had a thought the other day about this whole situation were in. When Tay was 2 months old we took a DNA test to prove what I already knew, the sperm donor and I had made a baby! I was the wee age of 19 and he was 24!  After we took the test and it came back positive he made the dumbest (but best for us) decision of his life, he said he wanted nothing to do with her. So I went on my way , and decided to take care of my daughter on my own. After all what choice did I have, right?!?! And then when she was 14 months old I met the man that would become her Daddy! I knew this instantly, and I believe she did too! When we we're still just "friends" Taylor called him Daddy when we we're going to get a movie. I thought peace out buddy it was nice knowing ya! But to my shock and terrific surprise he went around to her seat and got her out without even a mention as to what had happened! So my thought was the best part of this situation was it didn't take any kind of test to determine what these two would be! I believe they both knew before I even did. God knew and that was all that mattered! 8 years later I couldn't ask for a better Daddy for her, I don't think the situation could have gone better! We will fight for however long it takes and spend whatever we have to to get our family back to "normal" as we say! After all once she is adopted nothing in her life will change, she will always be her Daddy's Little Girl!

Now on to the fun part! The PARTY! Today was her party year so she invited 7 girls to the house for a incredibly fun Food Network Party! It started off with the decorating of chef hats and aprons!

Then on to the major events! We started off with a round of Iron Chef America! Jeremy announced the secret ingredient (tomatoes) and the girls we're off! One team made double tomato brushetta, while the other team made cream cheese stuffed cherry tomatoes. I teared up at hearing them say this is so much fun! I loved that we we're able to do something not the norm and that they all loved it! Here are the girls presenting their dishes to the judges (3 boys 6 and under and Crystal!) LOL

Team B won this battle with their stuffed cherry tomatoes! But both teams did great!

Next we moved on to Throw Down with Taylor Stark! The teams had to make two different types of lasanga (noodle and eggplant) This time the eggplant won it!  Mainly because adults we're the judges this time around!

Now for some dessert! I baked about 100 cupcakes, seven different flavors the night before. We then participated in my all time favorite show: CUPCAKE WARS!

The girls the had to decorate 24 cupcakes per team. They had to get very creative with the filling and toppings. The more creative the better! They also had to have a background and a cupcake tower built all within the time limit! They all said this way their favorite one and I totally believe them! Some got a little too creative and I was a bit nervous to try the cupcakes! But they for sure had a blast! We used the cupcakes as a cake to sing to Taylor. But when I told them they could eat one they all said they we're so full! I'm assuming they we're stealing a few bites during the challenge! LOL Here are the finished displays:

Phil (one of the girls Dad's) had a blast with all of these challenges! He was also a huge help in getting the girls to create some awesome things! He did his cupcakes on his own though, and although they didn't win they totally worked as a cake for Tay!

All in all I would say the party was a huge success! Taylor said it was her favorite party yet! I'm so happy everyone including the adults had a blast! I am also glad that the birthdays are over for the year, too bad the holidays are right around the corner! LOL

The Friday that felt nothing like a Friday!

Woo Wee what a day, what a day!  I know I'm not the only one who seems to start off every week counting down the days till it's Friday! I love Fridays, it means it's family movie night, and that I have my husband home for the next two days (Yippee for help!)
However I have been thinking lately, all I'm doing is wishing the days to go faster to get to Friday! That stinks to think that I'm wishing most of the week away just to get to Friday. Well today all I was wishing was that it was Sunday! LOL ( I need to stop wishing so much, and learn to seize the day!) Saturday is my daughters birthday! The BIG 10! <-------That is a whole nother blog!!!! So this means that my Friday was filled with complete chaos getting ready for her big b-day! I think we have a great tradition where every other year is a family birthday, very low key celebration with the fam. And the other year is a big birthday, and since I love planning parties we usually do go pretty big! Well this year is a big party year! We are going all out with a Food Network theme party! We're going to play Iron Chef America, Throw down with Taylor Stark, and for dessert, Cupcake Wars! She has 7 girls coming and some of Isaiah's friends coming over to help judge! Should be a great time, after I'm done prepping all the food, making over 200 cupcakes, and getting my house picked up just to watch it be destroyed in a matter of seconds!
So this Friday started off with some menu prep, grocery shopping while the older kids we're in school, and last minute present shopping! All was going fairly well. I picked up the kids from their half day of school and we headed to the store to meet Daddy and hopefully finish up all the shopping. I was feeling incredibly exhausted so my thought was get this done and you can go home and nap while the boys nap, and the other kids play. We finished shopping quickly and headed home. I immediately laid Eli down, brought in the groceries, and headed to the couch after warning the kids that Momma needed to rest so I could bake and prep all evening! Twenty minutes in to my supposed snooze session and I've got a 4 year old snoozing on my lap, and an annoying dog (that I love, lol) jumping on my head every five seconds! So so far no sleep has happened. I get up put the dog away, and snuggle up again with my sweet little man! Time to head back to closing my eyes. I'm almost to snoring when I hear my wonderful toddler who usually naps for at least 2 hours (it's been about 30 minutes) "MOMMA! MOMMA! ALL DONE! " At this point I'm so tired, and a migrane has decided to join me in my wonderful day, I decided to see if he falls back asleep! However I am finding it very hard to try to sleep listening to MOMMA being screamed every minute! After 20 minutes I give in and go get him out of bed! It's now time to enlist the older siblings to baby-sit. This does not go over well since after Eli has woken up he's decided to continue screaming no matter what you offer him! I am now livid! I just need a 30 minute nap, please, oh please, oh please! The afternoon goes on to me trying to lay down and getting up every 10 minutes to tend to something , to include the dog escaping, Joshua trying to flood the front yard, and Eli's constant screaming! Now Momma's in a B-A-D mood! It's no longer Friday, my mind has decided it is certainly Monday! I give up on the nap and kick the kids into cleaning mode ( They very quickly regret not letting Momma sleep)! Some migrane medicine and a shower later I finally feel human again! But I was oh so mad that the one day I look forward to the most was very much the opposite of nice!
What I learned from this is to have something I look forward to every day, and most importantly remember how many children I have and that the chances of the day going exactly how I have written down in my planner!
I hope that Everyone else had a wonderful Friday, and that you all took a nap for me! Here's to the weekend and seizing the moment! I know this weekend will be a hard one for me! Lot's of tears to come as I watch my baby girl turn one year bigger!

Here's to moving on and new adventures!

So here goes nothing! To start off this blog is more for me then anything. When I'm feeling down, confused,or angry or whatever, I write. Afterwards I feel like a load has been lifted. I don't know why but lately I have been feeling a huge push to get rid of my Facebook account and start a blog. I know that a lot of my time during the day seems to be on facebook. I never seem to mean to but I'll just randomly go to someones page , see something interesting on their page then an hour later I'm looking at a complete strangers pictures for who knows what reason! LOL
I also think that Facebook can have a way of making you feel invisible at times. You write something that you think is interesting or important and nothing....for awhile I was wondering if I wrote a suicide note if anyone would notice. Then I had to think why do you have this page, if your friends are your friends they know you and they will know how to reach you. They will also know if your having a hard time, or if you have exciting news, so on and so fourth. I just felt like it wasn't a positive place for me to be if that makes any sense.
I'm excited for this new adventure! I get this feeling that there are a lot of changes coming our way. I don't know good or bad (please good I could so use a break from the negative!) But I'm also working to make some major changes within myself.  I'm working to invite God into my everyday life, and all that I am. I'm working to be a follower not a fan! I would be lying if I said with everything going on I've been having a tough time turning to God lately! That's all gonna turn around! I plan to praise him in the storm, and when things are good as well! I tend to forget he's behind both things!
So feel free to join me on this new journey! Here's to new things, and thank God new beginnings! His mercies are new everyday! Who would like to join me in an AMEN to that!